I’ve been very sentimental again for the past few days. At the very thought of some people, I want to cry and I’m not even sure why. Even as I wrote that last sentence, I my eyes filled with tears. But alas, I was not meant to be a person who can let things out so easily, and not a tear fell. I don’t cry easily, so even the welling up is kind of a bizarre thing for me to experience. Is this what it means to miss people? My earliest memories are of riding tricycles with my friend Megan in the cul-de-sac in Kansas with the statue of a lion in the middle. The next one is the morning I left Kansas, and in my two-year-old mind I couldn’t conceive leaving that place and Megan forever. I remember crying then. I remember being thirteen and crying after Alyse left China and realizing that up until that point I had never felt so much pain in my life. I remember not even being able to stand up; I could only crumble to the floor, clinging onto the wall of autographs, and cry. After that I decided crying produced no results and therefore was not a practical thing to do and decided to stop. And here I am today, so confused at these unfamiliar feelings I’ve kept dammed up for so long.
Oh I sound so depressing right not, but believe me, it feels so good to feel.
Know what makes me happy? The Fountain Soundtrack. Know what makes me even happier? It came to Russia.
Other things that have made me happy today:Watching TV and drinking tea with my Russian sister and mama
Reading Russian billboards and understanding what I’m being enticed to buy
Going through greeting cards at the Magneet Supermarket and understanding what they say
Basically everything having to do with breakthroughs in Russian Language (Русский Язык)
Being able to type in Russian
Calling cards
Butt exercises in the workout dvd from mom
Mix CDs
Photobooth
Actually getting homework completed
New clothes and looking hot
A balmy 48*F Spring day
Thoughts of summer
2 comments:
My darling Amy,
Yesterday was one of those days... ::HUGS:: I would *so* have liked to spend some of it drinking tea with you and talking -- both of our spirits would have been lifted I think. Instead I just want you to know that I hurt with you and for you and I think you are beautiful and wonderful. I'm praying that God would bring encouragement and delight to your eyes again soon. But in the mean time He captures and treasures every one of your tears as being precious.
did jenny tell you that we went and saw the fountain? i loved it. :D
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